Randy
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Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Mar 3, 2009 6:26:27 GMT -7
Okay, so I write a lot of poetry(well, and lyrics and novel, but I'm best with my poetry) and I kinda like sharing it and seeing what people THINK of my poetry. This means that you can be as harsh as you like in your opinions of said poems. Mmkay? Thanks Anyways, Brief description: This was a completely random poem I started in the car one day. Turns out it's about dreams and dreaming. A dreamland, if you will. Cotton Candy Butterflies
Rainbow flowers and painted skies Cotton Candy Butterflies Purple wishes in disguise Handsome men that never lie
Heroic deeds done for good Fair is fair as how is should Everything that's right could Every thing that could've would
Puppy dogs and kitten do Play together one and two Everyone says "I love you" Which means they really do
No one lies in my land Children play hand in hand Everyone there understands No one cries, girl or man
Now into my bed I seep Stare into abyss so deep Eternal joy I can keep As I slowly drift to sleep
I dream of kisses and of love I dream of every joy I know You and me and how we fly I dream of Cotton Candy Butterflies
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Post by Ink on Mar 3, 2009 8:55:52 GMT -7
Oh, that's very good. Personally, I don't like the subject that much, but you're good poet either way. xD Keep up the good work!
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Post by + RJ on Mar 3, 2009 13:21:15 GMT -7
It's very good writing; I can't write happiness... I'm too morbid.
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Randy
Moderator
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Mar 7, 2009 16:53:00 GMT -7
Well, that's just the happiest poem I have, so I always start with it. It's also my personal favorite, because I don't write very happy poems either, so the one I wrote just kinda... Stuck with me, ya know? Next one is a little different, a little darker. You Who Knows So Much
Now can you tell me this You who knows so much Can you tell me why I don’t Scream at death’s cold touch?
And can you tell me why I do the stupid things I do Now tell me how I choose Which words I say are true?
Explain to me; why this is Why the simple things I want Is so very impossible to have Even if you must be abrupt
What is it that I truly need Peace in my mind, or heart Truest love or honest trust Eternal joy or a new start?
Why is this world dishonest Can’t it let my words be said So I can be a different person To be the one I’ve never had
You who knows so much Can you please tell me why And tell me how to change To live for more than to die
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Post by + RJ on Mar 7, 2009 19:33:53 GMT -7
I love your poems because unlike a lot of people you are able to get a message across while still rhyming and keeping a syllable pattern.
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Randy
Moderator
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Mar 8, 2009 9:42:58 GMT -7
For me, it's hard not to. And though I usually start without a meaning, I can't not build on... And I can just carry on and on. I've written some really (pathetic) long poems and the subject just kept changing. So, yeah ^^
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Post by + RJ on Mar 8, 2009 10:35:31 GMT -7
I have a problem with subject changes. ^^
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Randy
Moderator
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Mar 9, 2009 13:25:13 GMT -7
Yeah, more than once I've had to actually seperate poems just becuase the subject change is so drastic. It drives me crazy sometimes that I can't control my writing. Anyways, I feel like posting another one, so yeah. Note: This is a just-for-fun poem. I, one day a couple years ago, wrote down every word I knew that ended with "tion" off the top of my head and made a poem out of it so.. Yeah. I was able to make a meaning out of it, but it's mostly just because I was able to make a poem out of wrods that ended with "tion" xD One Of Life's Rotations He had a awkward occupation 'Cause he got all the attention During the invasion He never made a decision It was his tradition To beat all competition Without indecision Though there was tension Whilst in the confusion He controlled his emotion But during the explosion He felt his revaluation With his solution He gained great expectations Better than the illusions I know his sensation It is a regulation Life is full of pollution And in his realization He learned life's position So he found the location Of the largest population Noticing that life's rotation Has no simple explanation He got a strange notion He could change life's formation So he mixed a new potion And ended up in the ocean So ends the attention To the traditions During the confusions And a man's solution For it is one of my regulations To to notice life's rotations And it's formations As I looked toward the constellations[/center] xD
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Post by Ink on Mar 9, 2009 13:29:16 GMT -7
Hey cool, I really like it. It seems like it's about some military scientis type guy during an alien invasion, but I don't know. Lol
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Randy
Moderator
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Mar 9, 2009 13:35:28 GMT -7
That's a good of subject as any. Lol. I purposely don't really have much of a subject to it, I usually just let people make up their own.
It's about someone making changing, either succeeding or failing, he dies in end. So, yeah. *shrug*
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Post by Ink on Mar 9, 2009 13:36:50 GMT -7
I think he blew himself up by accident. xD
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Randy
Moderator
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Mar 9, 2009 13:38:18 GMT -7
Lol! I like that description, actually. It fits it, 'cause it's certainly not a serious poem xD
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