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Post by + RJ on Mar 29, 2009 17:56:14 GMT -7
Nobody ever said life would be easy
To be completely honest,
For once in my life,
They told me all the opposite.
I always wanted to say "Fuck off,
I can take care of myself"
Nowadays I don't know what I think
Life has always been...
Relatively good for me
But I can't find it in myself to be thankful.
I look in the mirror
And I don't see anything there anymore
It's just me,
But the eyes are duller,
It's harder to find a smile
So don't knock on the door-
I want to be alone with myself,
So I can get to know me again
I don't even know who I am anymore
Because every time I think that I got it figured out
I realize I'm wrong again.
I used to be stable, but...
Now I'm asking you, begging
For someone to hold on to me please
Pull me back from the edge before I fall,
Or even worse before I jump.
When I say that I'm okay,
what I really mean is,
Ask me again but ask for an honest answer
I would have told you the first time,
But I was so afriad.
And please don't call me crazy
I've already convinced myself
There's something wrong with me.
Now I'm asking you, begging
Someone please hold on to me.
Pull me back from the edge
I'm jumping off
And falling
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Echo
Valued Member
Hee hee hee, watch it go! ^ and one more thing, WTF?!!!
Posts: 506
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Post by Echo on Mar 29, 2009 18:20:37 GMT -7
=[ whats wrong?
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Post by Ink on Mar 29, 2009 18:44:59 GMT -7
I ask if you're okay all the time. I wish you trusted me enough to say how you really feel.
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Post by + RJ on Mar 29, 2009 19:14:21 GMT -7
It's not so much lack of trust, just.... It's hard to say.
It's like when I say I'm fine to everybody else I can start to believe it but if I actually say I'm not, it just makes it worse.
Besides, I don't really know if I'm okay... Sometimes I am, and sometimes I'm really really not.
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Post by Ink on Mar 29, 2009 19:15:31 GMT -7
Please just tell me when you're not feeling okay though...
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Post by + RJ on Mar 29, 2009 19:16:05 GMT -7
All right. But you know what I mean when actually admitting it makes it just that much more real?
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Post by Ink on Mar 29, 2009 19:21:48 GMT -7
Yeah, I know. But I mean, you don't even have to tell me what's gone wrong specifically, I just want to know when you're sad...
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Post by + RJ on Mar 29, 2009 19:24:12 GMT -7
Yeah. Okay I promise.
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Post by Ink on Mar 30, 2009 18:21:31 GMT -7
Thanksies. ^^
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Randy
Moderator 
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Apr 1, 2009 10:36:01 GMT -7
That was very deep, and, I have to say, it's pretty cool to have a cousin that cares that much. I think, if you look around, you should be able to find at least one person to hold on to. I do you make it through all the bad times, and just remember, it'll get better if ya just hold on. Thanks for sharing the poem with us.
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Post by + RJ on Apr 1, 2009 19:19:19 GMT -7
I have a few people, but not many. I do , and then I dont. I know they would say that I had them, but it's hard to let them........ Am I making sense?
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Randy
Moderator
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Apr 3, 2009 9:12:06 GMT -7
Yes, I understand completely. That's my major problem, I have some people who would but it's hard to let them. So, yeah, I understand.
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Post by + RJ on Apr 6, 2009 8:42:27 GMT -7
Actually, I've been quite uncharactaristically happy this week
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Post by ☭ Yeagger ☭ on Apr 7, 2009 11:48:56 GMT -7
Very nice, RJ. And I agree with Superman; it's nice that you have a cousin that cares so much about you. I don't even know all my cousin's names. I think there's one named Theo, and one named Brian, but that's about it. I haven't seen them since I was tenish, though.
You're very lucky, RJ. My sisters don't even care that much about me, and the truth is, I think most families don't care that much about eachother.
If you're feeling depressed, I'm sorry. :[ Hope you feel better soon. Look on the bright side, you could always be worse off; you could be a starving kid in Africa or something. That always semi-cheers me up.
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Randy
Moderator
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Apr 8, 2009 15:28:45 GMT -7
Well, I'm a little better... I know all of my first-cousins names(I have like, millions of second/third-cousins, but I only know... two or three of them, I think... =/ If I through a rock in North Carlina in any direction, I'll hit at least three family members!) Tyler's the only one I get only with, the others well... Yeah. Cousins.
Now that's depressing, but true; I'm lucky, I'm homeschooled so I have a very close-nit family... Or is that unlucky? Never sure which. lol, jk. I love my family ^^
That always makes me more depressed, 'cause then I feel sorry for those kids and there's nothing I can really do for them and then I'm all sad for them and because I happen to be depressed at the moment... Yeah..
Though, I'm happy you've been happy, it's always good to be happy.
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They dont all fit...
