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Post by copey on Mar 7, 2009 11:13:40 GMT -7
Verse 1: Dull the senses and capacity to think, Drag me down, and keep me under. Forces within have weakened. My head is empty it feels like thunder.
Chorus: I feel my heart beating,pounding in my head. I'd like to control you, cause i can't control myself. Alone in the crowd, i wish i could find a way. You've fell into the hole again, and i've become your enemy.
Verse 2: Inferior motives are breaking me down, I will sail away,knowing things have changed. but i know that it's a lie.Life's a lie so is your grace.
Chorus: I feel my heart beating,pounding in my head. I'd like to control you, cause i can't control myself. Alone in the crowd, i wish i could find a way. You've fell into the hole again, and i've become your enemy.
Verse 3: In time you will change, but i'll be the same. Time must go so slow,you will never know, or find out why, as your mistakes pass me by.
Bridge: Put me out of my misery, for the final time!
Chorus: I feel my heart beating,pounding in my head. I'd like to control you, cause i can't control myself. Alone in the crowd, i wish i could find a way. You've fell into the hole again, and i've become your enemy.
So, what ya think?
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Post by + RJ on Mar 7, 2009 11:20:40 GMT -7
I like the lyrics a lot but I think they should rhyme a bit more. ^^
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Post by copey on Mar 7, 2009 11:28:57 GMT -7
i think it rhymes quite a bit, i don't really know how i should edit it, ut thanks for your input
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Randy
Moderator
Call me Randy if you don't want to type "SuperMan" ^^
Posts: 843
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Post by Randy on Mar 9, 2009 13:32:30 GMT -7
I find it a little hard to get a rethym, but I like the lyrics, it's just a couple of times it's more like a poem than lyric.
All I'd say is it needs a little edited, probably a little less syllables to get it to flow better. Other than that I think it's a pretty good ^^ Good job. =D
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