Post by ☭ Yeagger ☭ on Apr 2, 2009 20:19:51 GMT -7
(This is about a glitch on a game called "Zombie Master". It's a mod for Half Life 2: Death Match, and most of the players are men between the age of 14 and 30. So basically, every game is like this)
JOHANN - HE WAS LOYAL
On Thursday, December 18th, 2008 an angel visited the Ice Caves server.
The map was Docks of The Dead, and all looked bleak. The all mighty power, the Zombie Master, was creating spamshees. Barracades made of tabels were falling, men were screaming like scared little girls. Then, a miracle happened. The sort of thing that makes atheists turn into Christians.
One of the banshees stopped, stood oh so still, and became friendly!
Once the fray died down, and calm returned, the men and I gawked at our strange new friend. Some men, supersticious and feeling the kindly ghoul was an omen of bad fortune, shot at him. But the bullets did not wound him.
I said, my voice quivering with awe, "We shall name him George."
"No," said the mighty voice of Roast, the local admin, "he will be named Johann. With a J, and two Ns."
And so, he was named Johann. The men forgot of the disaster for a brief, fantastic time; they played with loyal Johann, jumping on him, using him as a hood ornament, moving him around, dry humping him. And all were happy. Johann even said, in his decaying, cracking voice, "I want to be a barber."
But, his dreams were short lived. He did not have hair, and to be a barber, you must have hair.
Then, without warning, Johann ran away. The other survivors and I searched for him, the ghosts of our dead comrades searched the entire map for him, we put up posters, we made a little posting on Craigslist. But Johann was no where to be found. Maybe, maybe if we had put a collar on him, he would have been found. I fear his immortality was brief, and we accidently shot him along with the feral undead.
The round restarted, the objectives were complete. But, our hearts still ached. And so, Roast tamed a zombie with his mighty Admin-powers, and named him Herbert. It is generally agreed that Herbert sucked, especially when compared to Johann. I think Herbert died.
From the hearts of Killroy, Roast, Hitman Zombie Eliminator, Scrap.est and I, Big Brother, we miss you, Johann. And sort of miss you, Herbert, in a vague sense of the word.
Rest in peace, young prince.
Johann
Hitman insulting Johns every where.
Johann's short carrier as a hood ornament.
JOHANN - HE WAS LOYAL
On Thursday, December 18th, 2008 an angel visited the Ice Caves server.
The map was Docks of The Dead, and all looked bleak. The all mighty power, the Zombie Master, was creating spamshees. Barracades made of tabels were falling, men were screaming like scared little girls. Then, a miracle happened. The sort of thing that makes atheists turn into Christians.
One of the banshees stopped, stood oh so still, and became friendly!
Once the fray died down, and calm returned, the men and I gawked at our strange new friend. Some men, supersticious and feeling the kindly ghoul was an omen of bad fortune, shot at him. But the bullets did not wound him.
I said, my voice quivering with awe, "We shall name him George."
"No," said the mighty voice of Roast, the local admin, "he will be named Johann. With a J, and two Ns."
And so, he was named Johann. The men forgot of the disaster for a brief, fantastic time; they played with loyal Johann, jumping on him, using him as a hood ornament, moving him around, dry humping him. And all were happy. Johann even said, in his decaying, cracking voice, "I want to be a barber."
But, his dreams were short lived. He did not have hair, and to be a barber, you must have hair.
Then, without warning, Johann ran away. The other survivors and I searched for him, the ghosts of our dead comrades searched the entire map for him, we put up posters, we made a little posting on Craigslist. But Johann was no where to be found. Maybe, maybe if we had put a collar on him, he would have been found. I fear his immortality was brief, and we accidently shot him along with the feral undead.
The round restarted, the objectives were complete. But, our hearts still ached. And so, Roast tamed a zombie with his mighty Admin-powers, and named him Herbert. It is generally agreed that Herbert sucked, especially when compared to Johann. I think Herbert died.
From the hearts of Killroy, Roast, Hitman Zombie Eliminator, Scrap.est and I, Big Brother, we miss you, Johann. And sort of miss you, Herbert, in a vague sense of the word.
Rest in peace, young prince.
Johann
Hitman insulting Johns every where.
Johann's short carrier as a hood ornament.
